Many people feel shame or guilt about Masturbation/Erotic Self-Pleasure. You may be one of them and don't completely realized it yet or know it and want to change that for yourself. Your not alone, there are a lot of people carrying around programmed messages that they heard maybe once, twice or over and over in their lifetime. This has kept them from connecting to their OWN BODIES and receiving the PLEASURE that has so many amazing benefits. I listed 19 of these benefits in the last love letter titled, "19 Benefits to Your Erotic Self-Pleasure Sessions", (if you didn't read that one, I HIGHLY encourage you to do so) otherwise you're missing out on some valuable information!
People who receive negative messages about erotic self-pleasure when they are young often carry feelings of judgment and/or shame into adulthood. Having these judgments as adults are not only damaging to ourselves and to others, it can hold us in that shame spiral as well. Negative feelings about erotic self-pleasure can have a greater impact than you think it does, which threatens our health, overall well-being, and a deeper connection with your partner(s).
Only you can decide what is healthy and right for you currently. Not your programmed messages previously coming from your family, your church/religion, a friend or a sex-negative counselor or therapist.
If you feel ashamed or guilty about it...talk to someone, have the conversation to break free from the programming that is holding you back from the pleasure you deserve. This may be a trusted friend you know is sex-positive and open-minded that can give you a new perspective. If you're ready to unpack this for yourself a bit deeper, you could work with a professionally trained sexuality educator or a sex therapist that could help. Just a note, not all training is created equal or works for every person and sometimes it takes different types of education/training to support your needs overall.
When I was looking for guidance and someone to help me expand, I preferred a more somatic based type of education and training, like how I have been professionally trained. As I have found through my experiences my body is not separate from my mind, and my genitals are very important to know and love. I am more complete overall when my body as a whole is integrated into the learning process. So when finding a professional to support you on this path, remember, everyone has had their own past programming, "good or bad" this can also help you with your perspective and journey as well. Which is something I allow myself to do, share and be vulnerable to completely support my student clients.
So I am pretty sure I could say we have all heard a few myths about this amazing act of self-love. And, some of us may have some beliefs formed surrounding these myths. So what are some common myths about erotic self-pleasure?
Here are some of the facts:
does NOT make sex organs shrink or grow or change color, texture, or appearance permanently
does NOT lead to strange behaviors
does NOT stunt your growth
does NOT cause hair to grow on the palms of hands or other strange places
does NOT cause infertility
does NOT cause the male body to run out of sperm
does NOT cause injury or harm
does NOT lead to mental illness or instability
does NOT lead to blindness or cause "it" to fall off
does NOT make you an immoral or bad person
does NOT make you gay
does NOT make you un-lovable or less desirable to have a relationship with
in the realm of church/religion, I will let you reflect on all of those myths that you have been programmed with that tie into erotic self-pleasure and sex
Please take a moment and reflect on your programming surrounding the messages you have received and your current beliefs surrounding erotic self-pleasuring for yourself to be true. Ask if these are truly yours or are they someone else's? Are your erotic self-pleasuring beliefs currently serving you or are they holding you back from a small or even large amount of pleasure and health benefits you could be having with yourself?
Remember, I love connecting with you! So don't hesitate to reach out to me. And...come join me at an event; play, experience and re-educate that beautiful body of yours!
Interested in a topic that you don't see listed in the events, love letters, or other spaces I offer these topics? PLEASE let me know, I am here to help guide and support your growth and pleasure expansion!
In erotic breath, love, and hugs from my heart to your heart ~Dragonfly💜